Last year in June I nearly got raped on a festival I attended. It wasn\'t a \"finished\" rape but it was/is very traumatizing for me. A good friend did it. I\'ve hid it for like 2 months before finally telling it a good friend of mine who knows the man, too. I numbed the pain in alcohol and drugs and (I\'m anorexic for like 7 years now) lost more weight. I stopped eating again in that time. My mother found it out in August and she cried a lot. After that time I had sex with a lot of guys because I\'ve lost the last bit of love to myself because i always thought/think it was my fault. In march this year i\'ve met my boyfriend and we moved together 2 weeks ago. He knows everything about me but sometimes I have those flashbacks, especially when we have sex or are cuddling. I can\'t move when it happens, can\'t really speak or something like that. I just lay there and have to go through that all again. I\'m in therapy but i still feel like a worthless piece of shit. I feel like i deserve it...

I changed my mind, go back Home.

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