There are times when I feel completely drained of energy and I don\'t feel motivated to do much of anything besides holing myself in my room and going on the internet. And then there are times when I want to just cry and break down, but I\'m out in public so I end up zoming out for a few minutes about what I want to do. I want to cry. I want to punish myself. I want to beat myself up. I want to feel the pain, so I can see if I can make it. Some times I feel like I can, but most of the time I feel like I can\'t. I so desperately want someone to notice it, but I hate having to think about having to depend on someone to feel better about myself. And at that point I just want to hate myself. I hate myself so much, yet I haven\'t done anything to change the situation, which makes me pity myself even more. I feel so powerless, no matter how many times I try to tell myself I am stronger than I think. I guess I\'m all talk, but I have no conviction.

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If you or someone you know is in a life threatening situation, call the 24/7 National Suicide
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